Confessions
by jochan625
Summary: Yuki has a secret, and is afraid shuichi will leave him.YxS,ThxYLemon
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This is my first Fan fiction posted on FFN. I'm extremely excited and I hope that you enjoy it and review it. Please keep the flames low if for some reason you don't like it. I'm allergic to fire.**

**This is rated M for some language and some lemony scenes. But don't worry; there will be a full lemon in the upcoming chapters. o!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Gravitation or the characters in this fic. Maki Murakami, Goddess of Shounen-ai does. (huddles in corner shouting"Curse you Maki!")**

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**The Confession**

**It is 8:00, as I stumble through the door; my hand covers my eyes, obscuring any light because of my migraine. Expecting to get knocked over by my damn brat, I lower my hand, and slowly open my eyes.**

**I slowly walk into the living room, careful not to trip on anything, and wince at the harsh light emanating from the TV.**

**There he is, lying on the couch, the TV remote in his hand and mouth wide open as he sleeps soundly. I can't help but stare at his angelic face, like a child's, shadowed by his shinning pink hair. I stand and stare for a while, hoping he will notice my presence, but he doesn't. Instead, his lips move, whispering something inaudible. I can only guess at what that word is, and it makes my migraine that much worse.**

**I slowly pry the remote from his hand, careful not to wake him, and turn the TV off. I walk to the kitchen and wince slightly as the light is turned on. I'm surprised to see that it looks the same as it did when I left it this morning. That would mean that Shuichi hasn't left the couch since he came home. I'm glad he's asleep, if he were awake; my headache would probably get worse. I need some time to think and in order to do that, I need some quiet. I hope when he wakes up, he doesn't remember to ask me where I was. I don't know if I could handle telling him.**

**I sit down quietly, listening to the water boil. Every sound seems to hit me like a freight train. I rest my head on my hands, trying to relieve some of the pain. It doesn't work. **

**Every time, this happens. Every time…….when I come back from that place, from him, that blond haired prince with sparkling emerald green eyes……….my head starts to swim. One look and I drown. It's like I become a different person when I'm alone with him. He takes advantage of that.**

**I become lost in my thoughts and forget to turn off the boiling water before I hear that high pitched whistle. "Damn it", I curse out loud. I scramble from my seat to turn it off, hoping that the noise doesn't wake up my brat. I quickly check the living room to see if he woke up. "Shit…" I whisper as he get up and stretches, before turning to see me. We lock eyes and I know that he won't let me sleep anytime soon……**

"**Yuki…when did you get home?" He pauses for a second and yawns. "Hmm…….What time is it?" I scoff at him and sit down next to him. "I'm sorry I fell asleep, Yuki, but I was just so tired when I got home and the couch looked so comfortable. Where were you? I…." I get up and head to my teapot, pouring some of the hot liquid into my cup. "Uh…Yuki... Is something wrong?" I place my cup down and stare at him.**

"**Must you talk so loud? My head is about to split, and your constant talking isn't helping." I turn around, away from him. I can't see his face but I can imagine he has his head hanging and that cute pout on. I wait for him to say something, but nothing comes. **

**I sigh quietly, a little disappointed that he isn't going any further into the conversation. I reach out for my coffee cup, and gasp as I feel two arms snake around my waist. "Shuichi…what are you..."**

**"Yuki… I know… there's something wrong……..you're acting….different….something happened…."**

**I feel a tear run down my cheek. Damn it. I'm not supposed to cry, but his words…..they go right through me. He has no idea that he's the one being hurt, yet he try's to comfort me. I can feel him nuzzle his head into my back as he continues speaking his healing words.**

**"I…know you don't like to talk to me….when you're sad or angry about something…….but I can help you, Yuki. You know I'll listen to you, take in every single word you say………You can tell me anything."**

**I place my hands on top of his and gently remove them from my waist. Slowly, I turn around to look at my pink haired lover. I'm not surprised to see a look of concern and fear when I look into his bright, wide, purple eyes. I didn't wipe away the tears that are staining my face. I want to come clean to him. I want to tell him what happened, but…I don't want to lose him.**

**"Yuki...are you?"**

**"I'm so sorry, Shuichi…." I pull him in close to me and kiss him softly on those pale pink lips. Another tear falls down my face, but his hand is there to brush it away. I try to pull away but he continues kissing me, pushing his tongue pass my lips and into my mouth. His hand moves down my back, slowly wrapping around my waist. He continues kissing me, and gently pushes me to the cold tile of the kitchen floor.**

**In the back of my mind, I scream to myself to stop this, but I don't listen. I should stop…he needs to know…how I'm hurting him…but, he wants this…I can feel it in the passion of his kisses…it's turning me on…and I can't stop it.**

**I've never apologized to anyone, for any reason. I don't know how. All I know is that I don't want him to leave me, and…I want him to be happy…and this is the only way I know how to make him happy…and feel loved.**

**My arms wrap around his lithe body, crushing him against me. His head bends down and I capture his lips in a searing kiss, leaving us both breathless and hungry for more. I stop to stare at his beautiful, deep violet orbs. Those eyes tell everything. They show absolute lust, with a hint of uncertainty.**

**I'm starting to feel a little sick to my stomach…**

**I continue kissing him, slowly slipping my toungue past his bruised lips to taste him. My hand slips under his shirt, caressing his back. We continue kissing as I flip our bodies over, so that I'm on top of him. I straddle his hips and grind him hard. I can feel his passion digging into my thigh.**

**"Mmm...Oh, Yuki!"**

**I continue to grind him as I start to unbutton his shirt. I kiss his smooth, tanned skin, with every button undone. Soon his shirt is off and I find a small, pink nipple. I lick it and tease it lightly with my teeth. As soon as it is hard, I move on to the next one. I hear his soft moans and they fuel me on. I can feel his small hands burying into my hair, pushing me closer to his chest.**

**"Yuki…please…"**

**He is pushing my head down, trying to get me to pay attention to his passion. I continue to place heated kisses on his chest, moving slowly down to his abdomen. I stop moving when my lips brush against something cold…the button to his pants.**

**I place my fingers on the waistband of his jeans. With a steady hand I unbutton his pants and unzip them. I hear a soft gasp come from his beautiful mouth as I slip his pants off his body. I look up to give my pink haired lover a sly grin before I go any further when…I stop.**

**His face is flushed…bright pink cheeks… eyes misty and dark…he looks just like…**

**An image pops in to my mind. Blonde hair…flushed cheeks…moaning from beautiful pink, bruised lips…immediately, I place my hand over my mouth. My stomach hurts so bad…a stabbing pain…something's rising in my throat and I get up quick and run to he bathroom.**

**I run into the bathroom, not caring about the door, and collide with the white porcelain bowl. The contents of my stomach gush out into the water. I gag and spit; trying to get the vile taste out of my mouth….but I taste something else…**

**A metallic taste…**

**I get up off the cold tile floor of my bathroom, and look into my mirror. I'm shocked at what I see. I turn and look at the contents of the toilet, and conclude that I'm not seeing things. The water is red…and there is blood on my hands and lips.**

**I turn on the faucet and wash my hands and mouth. I turn to see Shuichi standing outside the doorway, looking at me with wide fearful eyes. He hasn't seen the red water, yet he knows something is wrong. I can't tell him…what's making me feel this way…**

**He looks like he wants to say something, but I don't want him to confront me……..his face looks blurry… I'm stumbling as my legs give out. I can feel all my energy flow from me as I see a hand outstretched to me, surrounded in darkness…**

**AN: Soooo……..How did you like it? I made my sister read it, and she thought it was good but, like all the other Authors/Authoresses on this website, I would like you to give me some feedback or constructive criticism. It seems that it helps to feed my muse. Don't let it starve, for I m poor and can't afford it much food. It is Flame intolerant.**


	2. Chapter 2

Konnichiwa! Thank you to all who read my story and reviewed, even those who are repulsed by the idea of any kind of Tohma x Yuki pairing. My muse is happy with the reviews, and so am I. Anyway, here's chapter two…but first, the announcements.

Rated M for lemony scenes and some language. Full out Lemon in next chapter. #

Pairing: Yuki x Shuichi, Tohma x Yuki (next chapter)

Disclaimer: I do NOT own these characters; I just use them for my own sick perverted mind. Don't sue me….I'm poor…T.T

Chapter Two

"-ki…Yuki…please…wake up…"

I don't open my eyes even though I'm now conscious. I want to listen to his words… His voice sounds higher than normal…not whiney…but sad. I slowly open up my eyes, and I'm met by two violet round orbs. I stare at him, and watch those beautiful eyes fill with tears. His face contorts as he begins to sob. He wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me tightly, burying his face into my neck.

I place my hand on his back and hug him tighter to me, placing my other hand in his hair, petting it softly as I try to get him to calm down. "Shuichi…" I drawl out in a low whisper. It seems my headache has gotten worse and judging from the tile I can feel on my back, I must have fallen into the wall and hit my head. I place a hand on the back of my head. Yep, there's the bump…Damn it…

I try to get him because of my brand new stiff neck but he won't move. I sit there for a while, listening to him cry, but my headache and stiff neck win the battle. I slowly try to stand, but as soon as I'm up, my world begins to spin. Shuichi catches me and he lowers me to the floor. He stares at me with his tear stained face and sad eyes. It makes me want to cry…

"Yuki…"

I gasp as his voice breaks the sickening silence. I brace myself for the whiney lecture that is sure to come.

"Yuki…"

"What?"

"…Do you love me?"

He's asked me this so many times, but I don't know how to answer him this time. He usually asks me this after we've had a fight, or after I've made love to him, and I always answer 'mmhmm' or 'yes'…but I've never said those three words he's so longed to hear.

"You do, don't you? I know you do. Deep own…in your heart, you love me as much as I love you…so why can't you tell me what's wrong? I can help you get through this, but you have to tell me what 'this' is…"

I sit up and capture him in a loving embrace. He gasps at the sudden gesture and shudders as I speak softly into his ear.

"Shuichi…if you truly love me… then you have to listen to me and try to understand my situation…you won't like what I say, and I don't blame you…but, please…I'm begging you to hear me out before you do anything…"

I pull back and watch as he nods his head in agreement. His eyes are pleading with me to tell him, but…something tells me he knows what's about to come…

I take a deep breath and gather my courage.

"Shuichi…The reason why I was late, why I wasn't there when you got home…it was because I went to see Tohma…We were just supposed to talk but…I don't even know how it happened…it just did…"

I watch as fresh tears fill his dark, violet eyes. The look on his face isn't one of surprise…just hurt…

"I'm so sorry, Shuichi…"

His mouth opens, as if he's going to say something, but nothing comes out. He stands up and turns, hand outstretched toward the doorknob. I quickly get up and grab his arm, careful not to lose my balance as my head swims. He isn't struggling to get out of my grasp; he just stands there with his head hanging. I see a tear fall from his face and drop to the floor.

I walk toward him, and press his body close to mine. I wrap my arms around his waist and chest, hugging him as close to me as I can. I bend my head down and speak gently into his ear.

"Shuichi…please forgive me…I didn't mean to hurt you…"

He places his hands on top of mine and gently peels them away from his body, then turns around to face me with those sad, dismal eyes.

"Yuki…I need some time alone…to think…and I believe you need to work things out as well. I'm gonna stay at Hiro's tonight…I'll see you tomorrow."

I watch as he turns and opens the door and for some reason, I can't just let him leave like that.

"I love you, Shuichi."

He stops and nods his head, then walks out the door. I'm standing still, until the terrible sound of the front door reaches my ears. I don't know why, but that sound makes my heart break. My legs buckle beneath me, and I crumble to the floor, sobbing quietly.

It's not because I think he's going to leave me…no, I can tell by the way he acted that he won't leave me. I'm crying because of the hidden message in my lover's words, 'you need to work things out as well.' In order for me to fix this, I have to go back to him…to Tohma…

AN: I'm sorry it's not as long as the last chapter, but it is damn angsty. My next chapter will be up soon. I haven't decided if I should make it the last chapter or not, but I'm sure everything will work out. Before I forget, my twin sister and I have a joint account called yaoitwinz. I'll tell you when we post so you can check it out. I'm writing the first chapter, she's writing the lemon.

Till next time! Oh! And check out psycho neko-chan. She's my sister, and she writes really well. She has a fic posted up under D.N.Angel. Check it out!


	3. Chapter 3

Hello girls (and boys…maybe…) and Welcome to the third chapter of my lovely Gravitation ficcy. I hope you enjoy it and will not flame me, considering I have no problem with Tohma and some…or all…of you do. Consider the writing and the story, not the pairing…pwease?

This will be rated a heavy **R** for a Graphic Lemon scene and some language.

Pairing: Tohma x Yuki

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gravitation or its characters. I just use them for my own sick, twisted fantasies.

AN: This chapter is different because it will not be in Yuki's point of view. Please bear with me…I couldn't figure out how to write it …

"I'm coming, I'm coming." shouted a blonde haired, green eyed man as he walked quickly to the door to greet his guest. It was 12:00 in the afternoon, and normally, this important man would be at work, but not today. He had called in sick, even though he was in exceptional health. The only thing that was bothering him this beautiful morning was the call he had gotten earlier from this guest.

"_Hello?"_

"_Tohma?"_

"_Yes, this is he…"_

"_It's me…"_

"_Eiri? …What's wrong? …You sound terrible…"_

"_Um… I need to speak with you…its important..."_

"_Of course you can… what time?"_

"_About noon…I'm sorry I'm bothering you, it's just…I really need to talk to you…"_

"_Alright…I'll see you soon…"_

The sound of Eiri's voice made Tohma extremely concerned. He sounded like he was depressed and scared at the point of tears.

Tohma nervously placed a hand on the doorknob, opening the door to reveal a taller blonde man with golden eyes standing in front of him. Tohma stood there, mouth agape at the sight of this man. His hair was messy, his shirt wasn't tucked in, and he looked as if he'd been up for a week without sleep. This man was not his…he was not his Eiri…

"Can I come in, or are you just gonna stand there and stare at me?"

The coldness in his voice made the older man shiver slightly as he moved aside to let his guest inside. Yuki trudged through the doorway and removed his shoes before moving to the living room. Thoma noticed how pale the younger man's skin was, and that his normally proud posture was slouched. _'Something's extremely wrong…but what could it be? …'_

Tohma shut the door quietly and headed to the living room, watching as the younger man sat down on the plush couch, with his head resting in his hand. He seemed to be in pain…

The emerald eyed man spoke hesitantly. "Eiri? What was it that you wanted to speak to me about?" He sat himself next to the taller man and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder, then moved it to his back, rubbing slowly. When he got no answer from Yuki, he continued in a soft voice, "Something is wrong…I can feel it…Please…tell me…I can help you…"

He placed a hand on Yuki's chin, lifting it up to look into his eyes. "Eiri…"

The older blond placed his lips tenderly upon Yuki's, kissing him softly. Yuki couldn't resist the smaller mans soft, pale pink lips. He knew he came there to tell Tohma he was done, but it was like he was a different person when he was with the green eyed man.

'_One last time…that's all I want…then I'll say goodbye…forever…'_

Strong arms wrapped around a slim waist as Yuki pulled Tohma closer, entwining their tongues and battling for dominance. Tohma's kisses were so intoxicating that Yuki was already half aroused. After a few more moments, Tohma broke the kiss and pushed Yuki back, straddling him. Tohma bent down and whispered into Yuki's ear gently, "Why did you come here? …Is that boy of yours not pleasing you? …Is **_this _**what you want?"

The smaller man ground his hips harshly into Yuki, causing him to release a low moan.

"Unhh…"

Tohma started to unbutton Yuki's shirt, speaking softly, "You're a selfish bastard, Eiri…leaving your precious boy home… while you come to me, making me stay home from work…just so I can fuck you into **_oblivion_**…" Tohma continued grinding against Yuki as he removed his shirt and started to kiss his jaw line, moving down his neck, licking and sucking till he came to his collar bone. He sucked hard, pulling his blood to the surface and leaving his mark. Yuki winced at the slight pain, but let Tohma continue.

A single tear fell from his eye as he spoke, "You're right…nnn…I am a selfish…bastard…ah..."

Tohma kissed his way down Yuki's chest, stopping to carefully tease a pink nipple. Yuki let out a small moan as Tohma nipped and licked his chest, moving ever lower at an agonizing pace.

"Tohma…please…" Yuki pleaded, placing his hands into the soft light blond hair of the older man, trying to guide him to his neglected arousal. Tohma got up and straddled the dark blonde man, lining up hip to hip. "You're being **_very _**naughty, Eiri…Shall I punish you? ..." Tohma brought his hips up, then ground hard against Yuki's cloth covered erection.

"OH! ...Tohma…nnn! ...Please, it…it…"

"What's wrong, my naughty boy…something not pleasing you? ..." Tohma bent down to take in an earlobe and massage it slowly with his tongue as he continued to ride him relentlessly.

"Uhnn…It **_hurts_**…Tohma…" A small tear ran down his face, but was brushed away by soft fingers.

"I'm sorry, Eiri…I didn't know you were…**_that_** excited…"

Tohma lowered himself so he was face-to-face with the button to Yuki's pants. He quickly unbuttoned them then slowly pulled down the zipper. He slowly pulled the offending pants off, letting his hands run down the younger mans legs as he got rid of the constricting clothing. He could see the bulge easily in his boxers and tried to hide his excitement. "Well… It seems you're a little…**_too _**excited… Do you want me to do something about this?"

Yuki could only nod and hold his breath at what was about to come. Tohma hooked a finger around the elastic band of Yuki's stylish boxers and tugged on them, relishing in the pleading look on his little boy's face.

"Tohma…"

The light blond pulled down on the silk clothing and was delighted to see Yuki's large passion spring forth. He took no time in pulling it all the way off, then lowering his head to lick the tip of Yuki's cock.

"Ah! …Mmm…" Yuki moaned as Tohma swallowed his length to his base, successfully deep throating him. The smaller blonde licked the underside of Yuki's cock then engulfed it again, constricting his muscles to add a pleasurable pressure that made Yuki moan uncontrollably. "Oh…God…Tohma…"

As Tohma sucked and bobbed up and down on Yuki's length, he snaked his hands around the creamy legs and pulled them onto his shoulders. Yuki whimpered when the green eyed man released him from his wet, hot mouth.

"Don't worry, Eiri…your pleasure is far from over…"

Tohma lifted the younger man's legs and stuck his tongue out, searching for the small puckered opening. A loud gasp escaped from Yuki's mouth as Tohma found his destination. Tohma licked the outside of the hole then dipped inside, slowly and carefully stretching him.

"NO!"

Yuki screamed loudly, causing Tohma to stop what he was doing and see what was wrong. Tohma's eyes widened as he stared at the tear streaked face of his boy.

"…Eiri…"

Yuki was lying there frozen solid; staring at the ceiling, as if there was trying to stare through it. His eyes were leaking tears in lines down his face. He looked so sad, and scared.

"Eiri? What's wrong?"

Tohma was scared at the way Yuki was acting, but he had a feeling he knew why. He leaned down on top of him, wiping the tears away and stroking his hair, calming him. He bent down and kissed him softly, not full of lust or passion, but with gentleness and apology. Yuki looked at him for a second, confusion and fear in his eyes but soon replaced with sadness and fresh tears. Tohma sat his boy up and cradled him as the younger man's body trembled with sobs.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry….I'm so sorry…"

Tohma sat like that for a while as Yuki's body shook with sadness, repeating those same words over and over again. "Shh…it's ok…calm down…Eiri…please…"

Yuki sat up, and peered into green orbs full of concern. "I'm sorry but…I just couldn't…I…I'm sorry, Tohma…" Golden mixed with emerald as the two blond men stared at each other. Tohma stood up and pulled Yuki up with him. He took hold of the younger man's hands and held them tightly as he stared forcefully into his eyes.

"Eiri…There is no need to apologize…it is my fault and I shouldn't have started it…I think I know what you wanted to talk about…and I'm sorry for what I did…Just…don't come back here…I don't know what I will do…"

Tohma leaned forward and kissed him softly then looked at the dark blond haired man with sadness in his eyes. "Goodbye, my Eiri…" And he turned around and headed to his bedroom, quietly shutting his door and leaving a very depressed Yuki behind.

Yuki wiped his face and picked up his clothes, putting them on slowly then headed towards the front door. He opened it and just before closing it, murmured a soft "Goodbye…Tohma…"

AN: So…How was it? I'm sorry to all the Tohma x Yuki fans (If there are any…) It seemed that a lot of people were not happy with that idea, so I compromised..

I promise there will be a full lemon in my next chapter, but it may take a while to write considering I wrote more than half of this chapter without it written out first. Oh well.

I hope you liked it and please review! Cookies too everyone who does, burnt cookies to people who flame. SEE YOU SOON!


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